Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
