Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
