I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
His nipple licking is glorious
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