no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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