she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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