At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
