k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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