No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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