And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
