I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
