the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
