I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
North Korea, Best Korea!
i just had sex bonerless
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Randomize
