Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
