So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
