Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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