Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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