I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
