I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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