chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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