I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
