woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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