I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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