So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
