oh god the rape fog is back!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize