16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
