Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
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Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
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You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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