dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this will be a night to untag.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think a kid would responsible me up
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
