Having a random hookup so left but love u
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
