Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Randomize
Follow @tfln