ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.