I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.