its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?