You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get