I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize