Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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