Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize