So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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