hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
