idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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