____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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