Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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