you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my poor anus
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize