I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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