wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize