check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
