I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
