he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
