pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
