the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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