I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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