The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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