I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize