Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
