spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
