yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
