hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
