I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
