It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
