i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
