can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
