garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
