You just made me feel so damn special
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
