hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would fuck him just for his dog
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
