we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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