Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
