Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize