I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
