with your own penis?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize