Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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