i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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