i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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