You work out of a Hotel?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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