I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
